quasigeostrophy:

rockcandymelted:

tobefitforme:

im allergic to penicillin
this is me every time i go to the doctor.
she forgets everytime.

gotta love your nurses, people.

I think there’s a Facebook group that made t-shirts along the lines of “Be kind to nurses. They keep doctors from killing you.” My mom was a nurse for over 40 years.

(Source: sandandglass)

My only goal in life is to be as sarcastic as him

(Source: forget-your-troubles-get-happy)

imalonelywhale:

thehunterandherangel:

balancedwithshadow:

thesataniclokeanrebel:

vanderwolf:

wholeheartedlyhalfhearted:

theclocktowerguardian:

dorkmeetstumblr:

acanthachaos:

I find this so adorable :3💜

THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE. #thedream

For Amber

Women like this don’t actually exist, do they?

excuse you 

We exist all over the goddamn place.

I am like this thank you very much!

this will be us hehe

This is literally my relationship.

vonmunsterr:

harmonychan:

This weekend a boy said to me ‘wrap your legs around my head like the crown that you are’ and I don’t think anything is ever gonna top that pick up line

that’s flawless.

minxiekitten:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!

hella-hippy:

lifeisliterallylimited:

NYPD twitter campaign implodes, flooded with photos of police abuse

Just before 2 pm EDT, the New York City Police Department called via Twitter for photos of citizens with its officers. Almost immediately the campaign #myNYPD seemed to backfire, as users flooded the hashtag with photos decrying alleged police brutality.

haaha thats what those fuckers get

coolscar:

I’m so tired of listening to country music on the school bus. Someone please save me from this Midwesterners-who-think-they’re-southerners hell

"Dear iPhone: I am NEVER trying to write “ducking.” Sincerely, Everyone."

Kristen Bell (via nickie4president)

pocketwatchesandmonocles:

Tesla is my sleepy boy

Tease the fuck out of me.

ccc0urtney:

Pin me down and gently drag your lips and fingertips all over my skin. Put your mouth on my neck and use your teeth to send chills down my spine. Climb on top of me. Look deep into my eyes. Press that cunning smile against my wanting lips. Bite my lip. Make me whimper. Pull my hair. Help me let out some sweet little moans for you. Whisper in my ear everything you could do to me, everything you want to do to me…then don’t. Make me want it. Make my body beg for it.